InsaneJournal

Current mood:

pensive

012

Hmm, I wonder what I'm doing back home. Driving my mother mad, I imagine. I can almost see it in my head. Sitting in the dining room having tea with mother's friends and trying to pretend I'm interested in the latest gossip about one person or another. There might even possibly be talk about who I'm to marry. The Yaxley boy is certainly one of mother's favorites, and I'll admit that he is aesthetically appealing. Poor man has nothing in the way of brains though. I think mother knows that I need someone to stimulate me mentally, which is probably why Pietro Crabbe is no longer in the picture.

Valentine's day was five days ago now. It's crup dung, and a completely rubbish, holiday. I hated spending it on board this ship. Perhaps the me at home got flowers from Tonks. He always sends me something on holidays, and I always send him something back. Mother almost caught me once, it was horrible. I wonder what we did, and Nessa too. Of course, it was August when I arrived here, so never mind that.

I have yet to meet my grandson. A part of me is afraid to, honestly. Everyone says I do a wonderful job of raising him and my daughter, but I'm eighteen. The concept of raising a child, let alone more than one is absolutely frightening.

Although I've undertaken caring for a puppy and a kitten, which is about the same in some cases. Feed them, clean up after them, try not to kill them. I've named the dog Zeta, and I'm deciding on a name for the kitten. I'm liking Chise and Mizuki? I think Chise means little star in Japanese or something, and Mizuki is butterfly? I think. Don't hold me to that.

The one thing I don't like about this ship is that it allows you entirely too much time to think. And lately, I've seen my uncle question the origins of magic. I realized when I gave him my opinion that ontop of the fact that I believe we're all descended from muggles somewhere down the line, the line between dark magic and regular magic is actually quite blurry. Maybe this has just really come to mind because I've also been talking to Bellatrix, but... really, what defines magic as good or bad? It can all be bad, dark, and definitely lethal. Magic in any form, no matter how innocent. A knockback jinx cast on a gargoyle could easily make the statue fall on someone and kill them, and that's a simple defense spell you learn in your first year at Hogwarts.

I've always known dark magic, or at least, what the Ministry would label as dark magic. For a long time, I didn't see what was so bad about it, especially because I suppose in a way they could be used as defense spells. Kill or be killed, and such. What it all boils down to, I think, is intent. And while I can appreciate the -honest, yet somewhat- naive attempt to control magic. In the end, how would they even go about that? Realistically, one has to believe that magic isn't really good or bad. What makes it so is the witch or wizard. Even then, I've certainly come across spells and books in my father's study that would probably not even be in the restricted section at the Hogwarts. I don't use the spells in them, but that's because I don't feel I would ever need to. It is good to know that type of magic exists though, to be prepared.

So I don't know if I've just validated everything my parents have been trying to teach me.... but it does leave me to wonder.

Certainly, Tonks and I have duels to sharpen our skills. In fact, sometimes we're impressed by just how good our curses are when they hit, but it's always quite amicable. Merlin, I miss him sometimes... he's such a constant in my life, even as my friend, and I do feel I rather need him. Especially knowing what I know. If he fell out of the sky, like the complete klutz he is, I'd be the happiest girl in the world.



One last thing, because I feel I've gone on dreadfully long enough. I am thinking of opening a photo studio on the ship. I think it would certainly give me something to do, and it's one of my passions.


[Added in later after dinner.]

You know... whoever decided fortunes needed to come in a cookie with an order of mongolian beef and fried rice ( which is pretty good actually ), needs to be strung up by somewhere not nice. "Surprises are coming your way." What does that even mean?

If I wanted a cryptic fortune, I would have gone to an actual fortune teller.